英语作文求分析!好的追分.虚心求指教,麻烦纠正错误!i have a best friend,his name is Tom.he is also my classmate and we have been in the same class for three years.he is handsome boy from Canada and he is tall and strong.he wears gl

英语作文求分析!好的追分.虚心求指教,麻烦纠正错误!i have a best friend,his name is Tom.he is also my classmate and we have been in the same class for three years.he is handsome boy from Canada and he is tall and strong.he wears gl
英语作文求分析!好的追分.虚心求指教,麻烦纠正错误!
i have a best friend,his name is Tom.he is also my classmate and we have been in the same class for three years.he is handsome boy from Canada and he is tall and strong.he wears glasses that make him look so gentle.he has many good personalities,such as easy-going,creative and so on.last term,he was the host of the English corner and he is good at football so he joined the school football team.Although he has many strong points,he also has some shorycomings,for example he like eating junk food and he has a spending problem.i hope that he can change his shortcomings,the doing more exercise,and don't waste his money anymore,I believe that he will become more popular than now.

英语作文求分析!好的追分.虚心求指教,麻烦纠正错误!i have a best friend,his name is Tom.he is also my classmate and we have been in the same class for three years.he is handsome boy from Canada and he is tall and strong.he wears gl
i have a best friend,his name is Tom.  (a best friend is wrong)


I have a friend called Tom, who is one of best friends.



he is also my classmate and we have been in the same class for three years.

He is also my classmate and we have been in the same class for three years.



he is handsome boy from Canada and he is tall and strong.

He is a handsome boy from Canada and he is tall and strong.




he wears glasses that make him look so gentle.

He wears glasses that make him look so gentle.




he has many good personalities,such as easy-going,creative and so on.

He has many good personalities,such as easy-going and creative.




last term,he was the host of the English corner and he is good at football so he joined the school football team.

Last term,he was the host of the English corner. 

He is good at football so he has joined the football team of the school.




Although he has many strong points, he also has some shorycomings, for example he like eating junk food and he has a spending problem.



Although he has many strong points, he has  some shortcomings, for example he like 
eating junk food and he has a problem managing his spend.



i hope that he can change his shortcomings,the doing more exercise,and don't waste his money anymore,I believe that he will become more popular than now.



I hope that he can get rid of his shortcomings, do more exercise and 

not to waste his money anymore.



I believe that he will become more popular than now.

I believe he will become more popular among classmates than now.

I have a best friend,his name is Tom.He is also my classmate and we have been in the same class for three years.He is handsome boy from Canada and he is tall and strong.He wears glasses that make him ...

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I have a best friend,his name is Tom.He is also my classmate and we have been in the same class for three years.He is handsome boy from Canada and he is tall and strong.He wears glasses that make him look so gentle.He has many good personalities,such as easy-going,creative and so on.Last term,he was the host of the English corner and he is good at football so he joined the school football team.Although he has many strong points, he also has some shorycomings, for example he like eating junk food and he has a spending problem.i hope that he can change his shortcomings, do more exercise,and don't waste his money anymore.I believe that he will become more popular than now.

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1 He is handsome有误，is 后要有an.

第一句，两个完整句不能用逗号连接，改成i have a best friend,whose name is Tom.定语从句，语法就对了，但是干脆改成 My best friend Tom... 或者 Tom is one of my best friends ，清楚很多，简单的句子用定语从句有点儿累赘。。。My classmate Tom is one of my best friends. W...

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第一句，两个完整句不能用逗号连接，改成i have a best friend,whose name is Tom.定语从句，语法就对了，但是干脆改成 My best friend Tom... 或者 Tom is one of my best friends ，清楚很多，简单的句子用定语从句有点儿累赘。。。My classmate Tom is one of my best friends. We have been in the same class for three years.He is a handsome boy from Canada. He is tall and strong.He wears glasses ,which makes him look so gentle.(that 不对哦,也是定语从句)He has many good personalities,such as easy-going,creative and so on.Last term,he was the host of the English corner and he is good at football so he joined the school football team.Although he has many strong points, he also has some shortcomings. For example, he likes eating junk food and he has a spending problem.I hope that he can do more exercise and become more ecnomical.(希望他节约一些)I believe that if he overcomes his shortcomings he will become more popular.你用的and 蛮多的，而且这样一排感觉好多HE 打头，句式单一了一点儿~但语法还好

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